Small Business Saturday? More like, Big State Saturday (Gottem)

Round 1: This House believes that no matter who wins the presidential election, America loses.

Ben/Josh were opp, and took advantage of the apparent structural advantage of the topic to stump for Hillary (not the most convenient day for that, huh?) and argue that Americans would be better off if she was elected. If you enjoyed such classics as the 2016 DNC, the first presidential debate, the second presidential debate, the third presidential debate, or any other speech Hillary has given this campaign cycle, you’d be in for a treat with this round!

Dan/Jonah (hereafter referred to by a portmanteau of their last names, GoldFish) were gov, and argued that America would be worse under either Hillary or Donald. They noted that marijuana would likely not be legalized under either president, and Dan struggled internally after the opponents claimed that Gary Johnson could still win. Evan McMuffin made a cameo appearance too!

Round 2: This House would provide paid family leave.

Ben/Josh were gov, and had the USFG mandate 12 weeks of paid leave with tax credits to businesses to offset the costs of the policy. Their opponents tried to have unions pay for paid family leave – we’re still not entirely clear on how these new unions would have enough membership to be a superior funding mechanism, but Ben relished the chance to emphasize good classic American values like moms, kids, and families in general.

GoldFish were opp, and implemented a negative income tax as an alternative to family leave. The NIT is maybe becoming a cliche of the Carleton Debate team at this point, but you can’t argue with the results!

Round 3: This House would root for the underdog.

Ben/Josh were opp, and after prepping for arguments ranging from Aleppo to welfare to Trump to Israel/Palestine ended up debating the implementation of a North Dakota Small Business Saturday advertising campaign (it’s the day after Black Friday?). Being the good opponents of state economic control that they are, Ben and Josh ran a counterplan giving the same money directly to the small businesses. Josh managed not to actually say the quote in the title, but only barely.

GoldFish were also opp, and argued topicality and disad/case against a plan that would add Ukraine to NATO. Their first topicality argued that rooting couldn’t take an action, and their second topicality denied governments the option to pick one underdog in particular. Obviously they were unaware of how much the action of rooting for the Vikings directly influences the outcomes of games. (They also mentioned that adding Ukraine to NATO might provoke Russia just a little bit, which seems like a reasonable point.)

Dinner now and round 4 later! If we break elims will be tomorrow morning, so we get to spend the night enjoying the climes of balmy Mankato!

img_20161028_185042486Josh googles Egg McMuffin in preparation for rounds


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