This House would stump the Trump

Looks like we never posted that final update for the state tournament. Whoops.

Round 3: Assuming the constitutional amendment could pass, THBT Supreme Court justices should have term limits.

Once again all Carleton teams were the same side (opp).

Ben/Josh channeled the Founding Fathers and argued that lifetime appointments were key to a strong, politically independent judiciary that could check the federal government and protect the rule of law. The government argued that term limits would result in a Court that was more adaptable to the times, and that without them justices with outdated ideas would stay on the bench for decades. Josh responded with a eulogy for the late Justice Scalia, saying that such justices are zealous defenders of basic, timeless rights such as the right to free speech and against unreasonable search and seizure. As well as the right of straight people not to have their sensibilities harmed by the gays, apparently. May he rest in peace.

In Carolyn/Amanda’s round, the gov team argued that without term limits, Supreme Court justices would not be diverse enough, and also just be too old. For example, Scalia didn’t know how to use Facebook. Carolyn and Amanda responded that SCOTUS is already diverse, and that term limits might lead to Roe v Wade getting overturned, which means more coat-hanger abortions.

Round 4: Tech companies should increase their cooperation with law enforcement.

Obviously, this topic was inspired by the controversy about Apple and the San Bernardino shooters. Naturally, none of the Carleton teams went this route.

Ben/Josh argued for tech companies providing discount body cameras to improve accountability and reduce police brutality. The opp team made some arguments about why this might not be feasible because companies wouldn’t be able to afford it, but according to Ben that doesn’t matter because something something values cases.

Final prelim records: 4-0 Ben/Josh

2-2 Ani/Dan

1-3 Amanda/Carolyn

Quarters: All US citizens should be required to register for the draft.

[redacted]

Semis: TH would prepare for the Zika Virus

Ani/Dan take the reasonable approach here, defending greater investment in public health measures to stop the spread of Zika in Brazil. They also specified that the funding would be taken from the UN’s anti-piracy (i.e. digital piracy) program, which doesn’t exist.

Ben/Josh decided to interpret preparing for the Zika virus as killing all mosquitoes via genetic engineering. Because, you know, if there are no more mosquitoes then we’re completely prepared for Zika. They weren’t sure whether Zika was spread via a specific mosquito species (it is) so they hedged against extra-T by saying that there would be spillover from the Zika program that would lead to the eradication of malaria and every other mosquito-borne disease. The other team read T and expressed somewhat reasonable concerns about the unintended consequences of killing every single mosquito.

Ben/Josh lost on a 3-0, leaving Ani/Dan to face Bethany Lutheran in finals.

Finals: The Republican Party should disavow Donald Trump

Yep, that was the finals topic. Ani/Dan were gov, and ran with the super cheeky interpretation of defining disavow as just denying support, and the Republican Party as the RNC. So their burden was just to show that the RNC should decline to actively support Trump in the primaries, which is standard procedure for the RNC during the primaries. They also said a lot of things about Trump being a racist who inspires hate crimes.  The same team that ran T against Ben/Josh’s perfectly reasonable interpretation in semis declined to push back against this interpretation for some reason. So Ani and Dan won on a 3-0. Fun stuff.

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