Ben’s Assless Chaps

Round 6:  The United States federal government should repeal the Helms-Burton Act. 

Round 7:  The United States federal government should enact the Fair Minimum Wage Act of 2013.

Round 8:  The United States federal government should increase the ability to discharge student loan debt in bankruptcy.  

Round 6: Cal/Graham ran a counterplan to amend the bill to read only that the US apologizes for its colonialist oppression via the embargo with a bunch of critical advantages about ending colonialism, which is the root cause of all evil.  They ran PICs bad, but we were not technically a PIC because we never repealed the bill.  Unfortunately, the judge decided we were a PIC and dropped us.  Ben/Joe also were opp and ran amend the bill to say the US will drop the embargo if Cuba stops selling arms to Venezuela.  Apparently Cuba has basically nothing except for a lot of gun manufacturers.  Chris/Miles didn’t go hard enough for PICs bad.  They also permed the PIC, and none of us understand how that could possibly function.  

Round 7: Nothing terribly exciting happened this round except Cal/Graham angered another Northwest school by beating Western Washington overcoming at least 4 false POOs of Cal’s PMR.  Graham enjoyed dumping a lot of Econ jargon this round.  Miles in his PMC realized he had 30 seconds left so decided to say “Minimum wages disproportionately help women, so we undermine the patriarchy.  Patriarchy is the root cause of all war.”  The neg dropped this is both speeches.  The PMR was at least a minute of, “We solve war.  We solve ALL war.  By raising the minimum wage we stop the War on Terror.  The War on Drugs.  The war in Iraq.  This outweighs their minute poverty link.”  Miles was very very proud of this.  Chris says they would probably have won the round if his perm had a text, but the important thing is that they were miles ahead on solving patriarchy.  

Round 8: Ben/Joe were gov and their plan was the resolution.  The opp ran T.  Joe spent 2 minutes on T to “scare them off.”  Chris/Miles ran the cap K, and the judge loved it.  Unfortunately the gov made lots of arguments.  But the judge said it was one of the best rounds they ever heard.  Chris thought is 3 minute LOR might have called that into question though.  

Graham/Cal also went for the Cap K.  The MG was incredibly fast and dumped a lot of perms and alt defense, but conceded framework means we do not need to win an alt.  All we need is cap bad.  And that cap causes dehumanization, which kills value to life.  So the block was those arguments and a bunch of responses on the impact turns.  Graham felt he was betraying Jenny Bourne by going for capitalism is the worst evil, but fortunately grades for Price Theory were already submitted.  Moral of the story: cap is bad and alts are unnecessary.  The gov team (along with their coach) were very upset by this and started yelling.  The judge also started yelling.  Graham and Cal quietly looked at each other and smirked in satisfaction.  We are clearing to elimination rounds.  Hopefully we debate UPS again.  

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5 Responses to Ben’s Assless Chaps

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  3. Justin says:

    I am incredibly proud of several things you have done. First, continuing to anger teams who think they’re a really big deal on the national circuit. Second, going to elimination rounds. AGAIN. That’s pretty damn awesome. Third, Graham taking Price Theory and worrying about angering Jenny. Fourth, Miles and Chris solving all war.

    Nice work, folks. Let us know what happened in Triples, when/if you get a chance.

    P.S.: Cal and Graham, why did the judge in your last round start yelling? Was he defending you guys against the anger of the other team and their coach? Because that would be awesome.

  4. David says:

    Huge congrats on breaking!! Sounds like you guys had some pretty competitive rounds, Graham and Cal. What happened in Triples? Joe and Ben, I hope the T scaring off was successful. Chris and Miles, thank you for taking a stand against patriarchy. All: I hope it’s been a fun trip and tournament!

  5. Laura says:

    Congrats guys!!! Good luck in elims!

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