Stardate -311840.2: As we were entering the atmosphere of the Mankado planet in Minessota sector 223, we picked up strange readings with a unknown heat signature “This house will…”. After two days of inspecting the planet our journey has been a success so far, although the natives are a strange people. Remembering the prime directive we have yet to run topicality against them. Our first encounter had to do with weird notions of a house needing to unleash the monster. We first went to red alert and all phasers on standby and loaded the photon torpedoes. The enemies shields took sustained damage after we interpenetrated what they said to mean that we should close a loop hole in immigration policy. However, after dispatching the first wave of enemies, a surprise Klingon attack using infa-red drone technology led to massive hull breaches in decks 22, 23, and 24. Unfortunately, to the loss of many red shirts. We readied the transporter and sent a search party to the planet surface. The inhabitants had mind control technology and made us give up our weapons. Warf was beat up in the process. We wanted to get back to our ship but they kept us here another day. We broke free and ended up in a ruined church. The tricorder readings suggested the lack of wealth. O’Brian beamed us up where we await the next adventure.
— Captain Douglas and First Officer Strauss