1. David is not funny (okay, that’s not new)
2. David may have actually paid attention in Con Law (Kim Smith would be so proud)
3. Some things are ABSolutely necessary.
4. Other things are ABSolutely essential. Is there a difference? Unclear.
5. Deadlock is bad. (Left over bitterness from Vocal Viking quarters last year?)
6. Civil war “kind of” going on in Syria.
7. Terrorists are not on every corner. (Phew.)
8. Jokes about Carleton and St. Olaf being in the same town never get old. (Or do they? EDIT: They do.)
9. Olaf is “totally for” net benefits.
10. NORTHFIELD WINS!!!! (But judges probably don’t care.)
11. Olaf debater has SUPER FAST reflexes for the end of protected time question-asking.
12. Use of “hell” at BLC tourney? Questionable.
13. BASHING BUSH. WOOOO CARLETON — how many Carleton stereotypes can we fulfill?
14. “So there’s that.”
15. Slippery slope is a logical fallacy. Justin doesn’t seem to give a fuck.
16. “We’re right and this is better.”
17. Too fast reflexes?
18. God, legitimate arguments/reasons. How rude.
19. ROD OF SWIFT JUSTICE.
20. Shouldn’t slow down reaction time of law enforcement agencies — maybe they should train with Olaf debate?
21. SOLUTION: PSYCHIC LAW ENFORCEMENT.
22. Kidnappers are unstable.
23. Olaf solves for DIRE emergencies, as opposed to just regular emergencies.
24. OH SHIT WE’RE ALL BEING FOLLOWED.
25. Olaf EG <3s cost-benefits analysis.
26. “If you are innocent, what do you have to hide in 24 hours?”
27. George Bush was right?
28. WE’RE NOT LIVING IN AN EPISODE OF 24. (Go figure.)
29. David’s (life) “partner Justin” made some good points. (Hope Graham isn’t jealous.)
30. VOTE FOR COMMON SENSE!
31. Yesssss, good use of “discourse”!